


In the Shadow of Your Heart

by ChillyWeirdoInACoffin



Category: The Locked Tomb Trilogy | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Circus, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Book: Gideon the Ninth (Locked Tomb Trilogy), Book: Harrow the Ninth (Locked Tomb Trilogy), F/F, No Harrow the Ninth Spoilers (Locked Tomb Trilogy)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:55:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27202807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChillyWeirdoInACoffin/pseuds/ChillyWeirdoInACoffin
Summary: Harrowhark Nonagesimus has devoted her entire existence to maintaining her family business, The Ninth House Magical Circus Company. After a near catastrophic night two years earlier changed the entire trajectory of her life, and career, her former childhood nemesis and one time friend Gideon Nav unexpectedly returns-- to once again throw the entire circus into chaos.
Relationships: Gideon Nav/Harrowhark Nonagesimus
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	In the Shadow of Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set in an Alt-Universe 1930's/1940's, with magic instead of necromancy.
> 
> Thank you to the Reddit r/TheNinthHouse user who asked "but what if Gideon was a clown?" for inspiring this fic.
> 
> Title from Cosmic Love, by Florence + The Machine.

Harrowhark Nonagesimus thought she had already lived through the worst day of her life. That chilly late Summer evening, she realized she was completely, one hundred percent wrong.

She sat, in a cold, shitty metal folding chair, in worn down tented office, completely against her will. She glared at the stupid, crooked smile on the face of the woman across from her; her childhood nemesis, Gideon Nav. That exact smile that had haunted her worst nightmares for the last two years. She felt her irritation growing by the minute, and wondered why her otherwise pleasant evening had been interrupted with this truly disgusting development.

“I thought you’d died in a circus train derailment, Griddle” said Harrow disdainfully. "What are you even doing here?" Gideon looked her up and down, chuckling to herself. “You wish, Harrow. They didn’t tell you, did they?” Harrow turned away, ignoring the ginger menace across from her, and sent a questioning look at her circus manager, Magnus Quinn. “What, pray tell, is the moron referring to, Quinn?”

“We’ve re-hired Gideon on as a performer for the Ninth. Her contract with the Cohort Circus Company expired.” 

Terror clenched around Harrow’s heart like an iron fist. This was not happening. “Absolutely not”, said Harrow.

“Sorry Harrow, but the contracts already bought and paid. Nav came with the carnie crew from Cohort. They’ve decided to move North the rest of the season. I know you realize we’re short a clown act once again. Plus the number of general crew members we’ve lost recently due to dropouts. Nav here is the best circus clown the Ninth has ever produced. We got a bargain we just couldn’t pass up.” 

No. There was no way. She absolutely and fundamentally could not do this. Not after what happened the last time. The memory of her humiliation began to rise up like bile inside her, nearing every closer to the surface. She refused to repeat this ordeal again. Or to lose her cool in front of the one person she hated most on this godforsaken planet. She thought she might vomit, right there on top of the large, oak travel desk in front of her. “Quinn. I will not mortgage the entire future of the Ninth House Magical Circus on someone who is…as dumb as a box of hair” she said, gesturing vaguely towards the woman on her left. “Someone who has proven time and time again, that when loyalty is most important—she has none. Nav values nothing, and no one above her own freedom. I don’t care if she’s the best juggler this side of the great divide. Or if she tells—in my opinion completely awful-- jokes that make the crowd laugh. _Or_ if she brings in more money than any other clown on the circuit. She’s a liar and beyond disloyal. And she WILL betray us again. How do you know she’s not just a plant, sent here by our competition?! No…this is a deal breaker for me. I would rather stand in a bread line for an entire day than work with her again. Or just slowly starve to death.” 

“Sorry Harrow. There really isn’t anything I can do at this point. My hands are tied.” Word came down from the big boss that we should do whatever it took to bring in new, and additional talent--particularly getting Gideon back.” 

Harrow felt as if her soul had departed her body. “If I asked you to make her leave, you’d just overrule me, wouldn’t you Magnus?”. “Yes. I’m sorry, but as the majority stakeholder, Mr. Gaius has final say. And he wants Nav here. You know he’s always been partial to her.” Harrow rolled her eyes so forcefully at that statement, her sinuses ached. “The locals love a good clown act. And now that we’re done with moving place to place, he wants to finish the season on a high note. The future is looking dark. Too many traveling shows are closing, or consolidating. And there are more livelihoods and legacies at stake right now than just your own.”

Harrow could not remember the last time she’d actually cried. But felt tears begin to well in her eyes. She was broken, striped bare, and humiliated unlike she had been in years. She felt the oppressive memory of that awful day two years ago that changed everything. When Gideon had left both her, and her circus behind. She’d been a shell of her former self for months. Debased herself, and sold her soul to survive the aftermath. Now here she was, one of her worst nightmares was coming true: begging her former foster Father for leniency. Facing more heartbreak, courtesy once again of Gideon Nav. After everything she had been through, all of the work she had done to preserve her family business, and her inheritance after her parents’ untimely deaths-- it had come to this. 

_“FINE”_ , she spat. The burning look she gave Gideon and Magnus both could light an entire forest aflame. Quinn didn’t deserve her ire, but at this particular moment, she definitely did.not.care. And Gideon—Gideon could burn down in that blaze, as far as she was concerned. She jumped up, sending her chair clattering to the ground. Storming out of the management tent, she shoved the fabric door aside, and ran across the field as fast as her short legs could take her. Her black sequined cape flapping in the breeze behind her.

“Harrow. HARROW Wait!” Gideon shouted. Harrow’s legs couldn’t move fast enough. She heard Gideon’s pounding footsteps behind her, running to catch up. Her chest seized, and she felt faint. The idea of Gideon being so close to her, when she felt like _this_ was beyond repulsive. She raced toward the small wagon she called home during circus season. But the ever athletic Gideon was too quick for her. She snagged Harrow’s arm, spinning her around so they were face to face. 

Those golden, amber colored eyes she couldn’t stand the sight of gazed quizzically into Harrow’s own. “I know you aren’t happy to see me. Not after how we left things. But can we please talk?". “How _we_ left things Griddle?, Harrow croaked, her voice gone scratchy from pain and irritation. “Don’t you mean how _you_ left _me_? Humiliated and alone, in front of our biggest ever crowd. Before the one man who held my future, and the future of this entire circus in his hands?” 

“I can explain”. 

“EXPLAIN?!? You just spent the last ten minutes in that office laughing at my expense. There is literally nothing—nothing you could ever say to me that would justify your actions, or make me forgive you. I am now indebted and enslaved, to a man who calls himself ‘The God of the Circus Circuit’, because of _your_ mistakes. I trusted you to do your job. I thought...we had come to an understanding. That you were my friend. That one day, we might even be something more.” she added, quite reluctantly. “Yet you left me behind! When I needed you the most. Stay away from me Griddle. Or I will fucking kill you. There is nothing in this world I crave more now than watching you die. I’ll make it look like an accident. Maybe the knife thrower will miss his target. I'll get a witch to curse you. Your wagon will mysteriously catch fire in the night…who knows what depraved ideas you will inspire within my cold, black heart. Just stay away!”.

Gideon looked as if she had been slapped. She opened her mouth to say something in response to Harrow’s pure, unfettered rage—probably something truly moronic--but stopped herself. Harrow tried to imagine what childish stupidity, or unimaginative excuses that would have come out her mouth. But trying to predict what Gideon would say nearly broke her brain. She would rather lobotomize herself than continue this conversation. It did not matter what the other girl would have tried to say anyway. There were no possible words she could ever utter to make Harrow forget the pain of her heart breaking. What Gideon had done to her was unforgivable. And she would devote the rest of her days to making her pay. 

Gideon reached out to grab Harrow’s arm once again, and Harrow gasped as if she had been burned. “Don’t you dare touch me, Griddle.” She shoved the taller girl back, barely moving her. At least she had tried. Gideon just stared at Harrow in disbelief. So she turned and ran up the steps into her private wagon, and slammed the door in Gideon’s stupid, beautiful face.

Harrow leaned against the door, trying, and failing to collect herself. The second she heard Gideon’s steps retreating from her wagon, she stripped off her sequined performance costume as fast as she possibly could. Unable to stomach remaining in an outfit Gideon had just touched. She hung it gently in her small, tidy closet next to the rest of her glittering costumes, grabbed her warmest robe, and laid down amongst the pile of quilts on her bed. She had reached her breaking point; she could not hold back any longer. A soft sob escaped her throat, and tears overflowed in her eyes. She dug her hands into the mattress, and she cried for Gideon Nav .


End file.
